We transitioned the twins to their permanent foster home on Sat. I knew this day would come. There were times we wondered if we should just keep the twins for the duration of how long they would be in 'the system.' Watching them change and thrive here was amazing. It was hard to let them go.
I wanted to write a book for the new foster mom of what I thought they needed. How B-bird needs to talk at night to unwind while I hold her hand and rub her back. How J-bear needs her head rubbed and reassurance as she shares her heart before she sleeps. Would she tell them how special they are and how loved they are? There were so many other little things...
It was hard to leave them there and come back home knowing my job was done. This is what I signed up for. Emergency shelter care. I love them, clean them up, love them, get them stable and move them to their permanent foster home. The day before we knew they were leaving, J-bear came to me wrapped her arms around me and said, "I wish I had been born in your tummy. I wish you were my mom. Can I stay here forever?" I am still sewing my heart back together...
I can't keep them all. I can't do 20 children. The state won't let me. What I can do is hope 20 other wonderful families will each sign up and make a difference in a child's life. Together we can save them all!
I still see all the teenagers in the system that I cannot house yet. It will be 10 more years before our children are old enough to do teens. Maybe we can house one sooner...we are open to the idea. No child will go unconsidered.
House is awfully quiet with just 7.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Detasseling Corn
Growing up in SE Indiana, detasseling corn was one of the few summer jobs available and I did it for several summers.
For all of you city folk who have no idea what I am talking about:
Corn detasseling is the crucial last step in producing hybrid corn seed. It involves removing the pollen-producing top part of the plant, the tassel, so the corn can't pollinate itself. Instead, pollen from another variety of corn grown in the same field is carried by the wind, pollinating the detasseled corn. The result is corn that bears the genetic characteristics of both varieties and can produce healthier crops with higher yields. Despite technological advances in agriculture, detasseling is still a task that for the most part is done by hand.
Detasselers all wear pretty much the same uniform at work. Gloves protect the hands, hats guard against sunburn (though I wore a visor so my hair would bleach in the sun). And despite the heat, nearly everyone wears a bandana around the neck, a long-sleeved shirt and long pants, all to avoid getting cut up by the corn leaves and corn rash.
You get up before the sun comes up, meet and get on the yellow school bus that takes you to the field. You know that your first 10 steps into the corn are going to be anything but pleasant because it's full of dew. You're wet head-to-toe no matter what you're wearing. The corn is tall, you're walking through mud or dry deep ridges and engaged in repetitive physical exertion for the next 10 hours. In the morning, it's wet and chilly. By 10 a.m., steam is rising from the field. By noon it's hot, and by three, it's extremely hot and you're exhausted.
It's hard, sweaty work that requires you to keep your head looking up for hours at a time. It's lonely work if you're ahead of or behind your co-workers. All you hear is chirping and screeching of bugs and birds, and all you see are rows of corn above your head, and you begin to panic and think they've all left. It's just you and the corn.
I remember saying over and over, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Just to get to the end of the row and get a little cup of cool water.
My boss was also my high school counselor and I respected him greatly. I wanted to do a good job to please him. I wanted him to look good for his boss…the owner of the field. I worked hard not to leave behind a single tassel.
As horribly hard as this job was, I still got up the next day before dawn to do it all over. And then I would still do it again the next year.
To this day, it is the hardest job I ever had. Housework and cleaning toilets seem like a promotion by comparison.
What does all of this talk of detasseling corn have to do with anything? I had the same thoughts and experience these last 4 weeks. Taking in 2 more children bringing the number to 9 ages 11 and under was quite hard. The children themselves were behaviorally challenged. Add to that lice, sickness and then Neil and I getting sick Christmas Eve…sometimes all I could say was, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” over and over!
Yet I didn’t want to let Jesus down. I wanted to hug these children for Him. I wanted to love and teach them well. One step at a time. He always had a cool cup of water waiting for me at the end of the row…uhh day. ☺
It was hard and yet I will probably do it again. The children heard the story of Christmas for the first time in their lives. They experienced love and stability and safety. Maybe this is what Christmas is supposed to be about.
Maybe it’s not about me. Me sitting with eggnog looking at the tree in quiet…me being able to listen to Christmas music to my heart’s content…me not doing 5 loads of laundry a day…me not being sick…me not getting enough rest…me me me me me…
It was about the children. Making lots of cookies. Teaching them to sing the Christmas Carols about Jesus. Lighting Advent candles every night and reading the Christmas story…one door at a time. (We have a great Advent book!) Praying.
I talked a lot more to my Father. Had a lot of deep heart and soul searching late at night and early in the morning. Doing the next thing. Doing it for my God. He is so worthy and glorious. What in this life compares?
For all of you city folk who have no idea what I am talking about:
Corn detasseling is the crucial last step in producing hybrid corn seed. It involves removing the pollen-producing top part of the plant, the tassel, so the corn can't pollinate itself. Instead, pollen from another variety of corn grown in the same field is carried by the wind, pollinating the detasseled corn. The result is corn that bears the genetic characteristics of both varieties and can produce healthier crops with higher yields. Despite technological advances in agriculture, detasseling is still a task that for the most part is done by hand.
Detasselers all wear pretty much the same uniform at work. Gloves protect the hands, hats guard against sunburn (though I wore a visor so my hair would bleach in the sun). And despite the heat, nearly everyone wears a bandana around the neck, a long-sleeved shirt and long pants, all to avoid getting cut up by the corn leaves and corn rash.
You get up before the sun comes up, meet and get on the yellow school bus that takes you to the field. You know that your first 10 steps into the corn are going to be anything but pleasant because it's full of dew. You're wet head-to-toe no matter what you're wearing. The corn is tall, you're walking through mud or dry deep ridges and engaged in repetitive physical exertion for the next 10 hours. In the morning, it's wet and chilly. By 10 a.m., steam is rising from the field. By noon it's hot, and by three, it's extremely hot and you're exhausted.
It's hard, sweaty work that requires you to keep your head looking up for hours at a time. It's lonely work if you're ahead of or behind your co-workers. All you hear is chirping and screeching of bugs and birds, and all you see are rows of corn above your head, and you begin to panic and think they've all left. It's just you and the corn.
I remember saying over and over, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me…I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Just to get to the end of the row and get a little cup of cool water.
My boss was also my high school counselor and I respected him greatly. I wanted to do a good job to please him. I wanted him to look good for his boss…the owner of the field. I worked hard not to leave behind a single tassel.
As horribly hard as this job was, I still got up the next day before dawn to do it all over. And then I would still do it again the next year.
To this day, it is the hardest job I ever had. Housework and cleaning toilets seem like a promotion by comparison.
What does all of this talk of detasseling corn have to do with anything? I had the same thoughts and experience these last 4 weeks. Taking in 2 more children bringing the number to 9 ages 11 and under was quite hard. The children themselves were behaviorally challenged. Add to that lice, sickness and then Neil and I getting sick Christmas Eve…sometimes all I could say was, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” over and over!
Yet I didn’t want to let Jesus down. I wanted to hug these children for Him. I wanted to love and teach them well. One step at a time. He always had a cool cup of water waiting for me at the end of the row…uhh day. ☺
It was hard and yet I will probably do it again. The children heard the story of Christmas for the first time in their lives. They experienced love and stability and safety. Maybe this is what Christmas is supposed to be about.
Maybe it’s not about me. Me sitting with eggnog looking at the tree in quiet…me being able to listen to Christmas music to my heart’s content…me not doing 5 loads of laundry a day…me not being sick…me not getting enough rest…me me me me me…
It was about the children. Making lots of cookies. Teaching them to sing the Christmas Carols about Jesus. Lighting Advent candles every night and reading the Christmas story…one door at a time. (We have a great Advent book!) Praying.
I talked a lot more to my Father. Had a lot of deep heart and soul searching late at night and early in the morning. Doing the next thing. Doing it for my God. He is so worthy and glorious. What in this life compares?
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Happy Birthday
Today is John David's birthday. Just thinking about him. Happy Birthday to you John David! He is part of a family who is very special to Neil and me.
Today
I wrote the previous post actually a few days ago on our family blog. Today has been 'one of those days'! I was determined to be Patient, Motherly and Sweet, despite the hormones. I had to do a 'do over.' I went back upstairs for a fast food break and read Psalm 94. Verses 17-19 were great for me...
I only have 1 sick today. WOO HOO!
I also read Proverbs 18. I love verse 22. I did not know it was in the Bible until my sweet husband used it to announce our engagement in a chapel service at college 16 1/2 years ago.
He is so romantic. I just love him. Even after all this time...
Well, I forgot to thaw the meat for dinner. How in the world does one scrounge up dinner for 11 in the next few minutes? I am about to find out! Or be eaten by 9 hungry children...
17 Unless the Lord had helped me,
I would soon have settled in the silence of the grave.
18 I cried out, “I am slipping!”
but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me.
19 When doubts filled my mind,
your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. (NLT)
I only have 1 sick today. WOO HOO!
I also read Proverbs 18. I love verse 22. I did not know it was in the Bible until my sweet husband used it to announce our engagement in a chapel service at college 16 1/2 years ago.
He is so romantic. I just love him. Even after all this time...
Well, I forgot to thaw the meat for dinner. How in the world does one scrounge up dinner for 11 in the next few minutes? I am about to find out! Or be eaten by 9 hungry children...
Jumping in...
We have jumped into the Oregon foster care system. There are 1,000 children in our county in foster care. These children are the future of our county. These are orphans of the living. We do not need to go to Africa or Russia. We have them all around us. Hungry children. Neglected children. Children born on drugs. Dirty children. Children with lice. Children with special needs. Children who need to know God loves them. God wants to love them through us.
Our first foster son came in October. He was an angry, sad little boy. He would cry every night and ask when his mommy is picking him up from this daycare. I told him it is not a daycare...it is a family. I would hold him and rock him every night while he cried for his mommy and sometimes I would cry with him.
Fast forward 6 weeks. He is now a happy little boy who knows there is a God who loves him. He walks around the house singing now and thinks he is one of the most special little boys in the world to have so many people who love him. He loves to pray. He is not perfect. But he is beautiful.
Two weeks ago twin five year old girls arrived. They are busy. They have lice. They were not used to being told what to do. Their little bodies were wired and exhausted from too little sleep and too much junk food. They slept 12 hours their first night here. They have nightly bad dreams. They are afraid. They always want to make sure I am staying here when they are in bed. I hold them and they hang on tight. I try not to worry about the lice and think about how Jesus and Mother Theresa would love on them and then do the same.
I am now a professional nit picker (PNP). I have a homemade concoction of lice killer which is the only thing I found that works. God in his mercy has spared us a lice outbreak. The girls are unwinding and do not have bad dreams now. They are responding to the love and patience.
These are just children. Children. Or are they angels? The least of these? It has been some of the hardest days of our lives. We are exhausted. Right now 6 out of the 9 are sick. Some vomiting. Some with high fevers and headaches. Yesss.....I never ask any more..."Can it get any worse?" Because it can...
God is such a great God. He gives us only what we need when we need it. I did not have what I needed to mother 9 children when I only had 7. I do not know how long these children will be in my care. I do not know how I will get through tomorrow...God only gave me what I needed today.
You do not have right now what you need to care for 1 more child. You will get it when the time comes. Would you be willing to open your heart and home? If not the church...who will raise these treasures? Think about the other options here in Eugene...
Just food for thought during this Advent Season.
Our first foster son came in October. He was an angry, sad little boy. He would cry every night and ask when his mommy is picking him up from this daycare. I told him it is not a daycare...it is a family. I would hold him and rock him every night while he cried for his mommy and sometimes I would cry with him.
Fast forward 6 weeks. He is now a happy little boy who knows there is a God who loves him. He walks around the house singing now and thinks he is one of the most special little boys in the world to have so many people who love him. He loves to pray. He is not perfect. But he is beautiful.
Two weeks ago twin five year old girls arrived. They are busy. They have lice. They were not used to being told what to do. Their little bodies were wired and exhausted from too little sleep and too much junk food. They slept 12 hours their first night here. They have nightly bad dreams. They are afraid. They always want to make sure I am staying here when they are in bed. I hold them and they hang on tight. I try not to worry about the lice and think about how Jesus and Mother Theresa would love on them and then do the same.
I am now a professional nit picker (PNP). I have a homemade concoction of lice killer which is the only thing I found that works. God in his mercy has spared us a lice outbreak. The girls are unwinding and do not have bad dreams now. They are responding to the love and patience.
These are just children. Children. Or are they angels? The least of these? It has been some of the hardest days of our lives. We are exhausted. Right now 6 out of the 9 are sick. Some vomiting. Some with high fevers and headaches. Yesss.....I never ask any more..."Can it get any worse?" Because it can...
God is such a great God. He gives us only what we need when we need it. I did not have what I needed to mother 9 children when I only had 7. I do not know how long these children will be in my care. I do not know how I will get through tomorrow...God only gave me what I needed today.
You do not have right now what you need to care for 1 more child. You will get it when the time comes. Would you be willing to open your heart and home? If not the church...who will raise these treasures? Think about the other options here in Eugene...
Just food for thought during this Advent Season.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
A Place to Ponder
In my spare time I would love to stop by here and chat or ponder about my journey of motherhood. I may never get back after today! I am a great testimony of God's great power to transform a heart and life back to His original plan for women...motherhood. So many of us have a great love for our children but have not embraced motherhood that comes along with them! We have listened to another message that told us we will find our fulfillment elsewhere. Anywhere but in the home. What else is more important than raising children? What is the next generation without good mothers? I have been learning this lesson now for 11 years. Some of you may not be so stubborn as me and probably learned it much sooner. Or maybe you were blessed enough to be raised to be a mother. Either way, I hope you will walk with me as we learn to be a joyful mother of children.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
